The White Male Ideal Is Dead — Long Live Real Men: Why Batemates Creates Space for All Men

We’ve all seen the same “ideal man” shoved down everyone’s throat for decades. The irony? He barely exists. So let’s talk about how the industry sells diversity while recycling the same fantasy — and why Batemates proves that real men were always the most desirable ones.

The One White Man Everyone Is Supposed to Want

It’s strange how early society teaches that there is supposedly one type of man everyone is meant to want, admire, or strive to become: the perfectly toned white guy with carved abs, flawless skin, and a gym-ready body — the kind of look that seems to belong more to advertisements than to real life. He’s everywhere: on Instagram, in fitness culture, in movies, on dating apps, in porn, and after a while, it starts to feel like this single image quietly shapes what everyone is supposed to think is “ideal,” as a man.

“Inclusivity” With the Same Old Bodies

Now brands are finally trying to look more “inclusive” by adding a bit of seasoning — a Black man, a Latino, or an Asian man here and there — to lure minorities into thinking they’re included in any meaningful way. But the bodies? Still carved out of marble. Still the same sculpted perfection none of us ever actually see in real life, except on rare occasions. It’s diversity with quotas, but only within the boundaries of the same mainstream fantasy.

When Repetition Becomes a Rule

When society keeps showing only one kind of male beauty, even when disguised in the language of inclusivity, that image becomes familiar, then expected, and eventually feels like a rule to follow. Even if it doesn’t reflect most people. Even if it doesn’t reflect the ones we’re actually attracted to.

Internalising a Fantasy

Many of us have absorbed these images without even noticing, comparing ourselves to standards that were never meant to be human in the first place, rarely questioning why these traits are presented as the pinnacle of desirability. The issue isn’t that people don’t look like that — it’s that they were taught to want that. The “ideal man” we’ve been shown was never designed to reflect real people; it was designed to keep attention and aspiration focused on a fantasy.

Where the Fantasy Finally Breaks: Batemates

However, reality shifts in spaces like Batemates. On the app, in the rooms, and through the stories shared on the podcast, this “old ideal” quickly falls apart. Men of all shapes, races, ages, and bodies appear, offering something mainstream imagery rarely gives: authenticity. Comfort. Recognition. Real men exist far outside the box that was never designed with them in mind.

Representation Is Powerful

Conversations within the community about self-image, insecurities, desire, and acceptance reveal how powerful representation actually is. When only one kind of beauty is visible, it’s easy to feel excluded from it. But in a community filled with real people who resemble real life, attraction is revealed as far broader than society teaches. People don’t fall in love with perfect lines and impossible proportions; they connect with presence, personality, confidence, softness, and authenticity.

Letting Go of the Old Ideal

The “ideal man” has never been a universal truth — just a cultural shortcut, a habit, a repeated image. As more identities are explored openly, as more stories are shared, and as more real selves appear, everyone gets permission to step beyond that old stereotype. Not to reject it, but to set it aside and make room for everything else.

Real Attraction Was Always There

Batemates didn’t reinvent attraction — it simply gave real men a place to exist without filters.

There isn’t one ideal. There never was. There are countless ways to be attractive, to be wanted, to be admired, to be oneself. The most freeing part is realising that when someone lets go of another person’s definition of beauty, they finally get to discover their own.